Gary and Emilee

Most of you got my medical update, but I'll post it below anyway, after this blog.

 I was reading stories on people's histories together, so I thought I'd share the history of Gary and I.

In October of 2005, Gary and I met at the institute building in East Bakersfield. None of us had planned on being there. Me, being the social anxiety type, wasn't really fond of going to YSA (Young Single Adults) activities. That, and I didn't really care to be in a relationship, nor get married at this point. Although Institute revolved around having a spiritual lesson, to me it looked like a gathering place for people who were desperate to be married. There was always flirting  and things like that, and I had lost interest completely. Now, I know not all Institutes are like this, but it was for me. Gary, who had been traveling to and from Bakersfield almost daily for school, was usually too exhausted by the time Institute came around to attend. It was either he goes to classes then stays in Bakersfield all day until Institute that night, or go home, just to turn around and drive all the way back for Institute. Plus, he wasn't interested in it either, like me.

However, I met a friend, who was extremely popular with the YSA. She's much more social than I am, and she was always attending everything. Everytime she and I would go out, she'd always run into people she knew. Talk about Mrs Popular (yes, I'm talking about you, other Emilee). Eventually I started going to activities, because she would always go. Sometimes I'd even complain, and she'd drag me anyway and tell me I'd have fun; which I always did in the end. Well, Institute this night had been one of those situations. I didn't want to go, but she pulled me along anyway. Gary, on the other hand, didn't want to go either. But, the Sunday before, his bishop approached him and a couple of friends of his in church, and told them to attend institute, telling them, "You'll meet your wife there.". So, Gary took Derek Wednesday night, and then took Jeremy the Thursday night (the Institute night for those who lived in Southwest Bakersfield). We met Wednesday night.

It was just a handshake and introduction, then a group of us went to Sonic for slushies. Gary and I sat at the same table, and only did a little chatting, but nothing special. Thursday night, Gary, Jeremy, Emilee and I all went and got food, just the four of us. We all chatted a bit, then went our separate ways.

Near the end of October, the YSA was having an auction night. We all went. Gary jokingly auctioned himself for a date. I barely knew the guy, so I wasn't interested; and remember the part where I mentioned I wasn't looking for anybody to date? Yeah, that. As bids were going (yes, other women were bidding), I felt myself throw up my paddle...and won. Surprised at myself for doing such a thing, I quickly threw my paddle back down and glanced over at Gary. So, that was that. We went on a date to John's Incredible Pizza. We also walked around a display of street art. The date honestly went pretty well. It was me who didn't go pretty well. I became uncomfortable when Gary would do small things like hold my hand or put an arm around me. He was being a complete gentleman, but I was too nervous. Eventually our date ended.

Some weeks later, Gary made a comment to friends, clearly a joke, saying, "You only marry a woman so she can learn how to use the kitchen for you." (or something along those lines, and I'm sure there was a dirty part thrown in there). Now, you all know Gary, and you all know he likes joking around. Now I find it cute, but then, before I knew him, I found it rude. The joke came across me, and I instantly hated him. I mean, really disliked him. When Gary learned I thought he was a jerk, he had a few words to describe me as well. At this point, he hated me back. We didn't like being around each other because of this. Although, yes, a part of me was really attracted to his sense of humor and personality, there was no way I was going to admit it. And Gary, admitted later he was attracted to my independence and affection, but couldn't admit it either at the time. Silly us.

New Years Eve rolled around. Jeremy and Emilee were now dating. Jeremy, who lived away from Bakersfield like Gary, needed a ride to the New Years Eve dance so he could spend it with Emilee. Emilee wanted me to ask Gary, which I didn't like doing, but did it for her anyway. Gary's response, "fine, I'll bring Jeremy to be with your friend, but in return, you are my date." This didn't sit well with me, but I accepted. We hardly looked at each other during the dance, however, and Gary, would dance with other women. I felt a hint of jealousy, so I'd dance with other men (so mature we were, haha). Finally, that ended.

Around the end of January, I had homework; I needed homework help, and I needed a strong opinion on a history topic. Because I had asked Gary to drive Jeremy to Bakersfield for New Years, I had Gary on my instant messaging program. I had received his e-mail address so I could ask him that question; that was the only reason he was on there. So, glancing at his name and seeing he was online, I said to myself, "Well there's a person who isn't afraid of sharing an opinion.", and sent him a message. He responded, kindly, and began helping me with homework. I realized then how smart he was (and no, Google couldn't help with this specific problem...trust me, I tried). After a long discussion, we both said goodnight and signed out. The following few nights, we started saying hi to each other more often. Eventually we'd get off the subject of debate and start talking about other things. Movies, music, you name it. It came to me how easy it was to talk to him, and started to realize how much fun I was having learning about him. Long conversations online went to conversations over the phone. Finally, Valentines Day rolled around and he told me had a gift certificate to build-a-bear, only valid on Valentines Day. He then asked if I'd be interested in having another first date. I accepted.

Eventually one date turned into two, which turned into three, etc. Finally, completely unexpected, in April of 2006, Gary proposed (after getting permission from my parents...isn't that sweet?). Most of you were there to witness the situation. Gary had purchased another build-a-bear, this time it had a squeezable hand. When you press it, it says, "I love you Emilee. Will you marry me?". Well, not knowing you can squeeze the hand, I put the bear back. We were all getting prepared to leave for a "Winter Formal" (Sarah, Emilee, Jeremy)...except Jeremy and Emilee were running late. My lovely sister in law noticed, however, and asked to see the bear. She pressed the hand. At this time, my nephew started whining about something. I completely missed what the bear said. All I heard was, "I love you, Emilee." I said, "Thanks, that's sweet." And attempted to put the bear back. "No, really, did you hear it?" I was asked. I looked at the bear, and pressed the hand again. Once again, "I love you, Emilee, blah blah blah." ...my nephew was crying, so it blocked it out. Again, I said, "That's sweet", and attempted to put the bear back in it's box. This time, however, it was dead silent, and everyone was staring at me like I just slapped a baby. Slowly, I pulled the bear back out and pressed the hand again. This time I heard it. Of course I was shocked because I never expected it, at all. In fact, Sarah, who knew all along, had led me to believe he was going to propose over the summer. And this point I blurted out yes before he could go into his speech, but he shh'd me and said his speech anyway (which is saved to our computer, so cute), then got down on one knee and proposed.  I then said yes again. Aww, I love him!!

We didn't get married until December of that year, because he still lived away from Bakersfield and needed to find an apartment. Before he found an apartment in October, we had only been seeing each other once a week. We'd meet at the Marketplace, and see a movie or go to dinner. Then we'd go our separate ways. We saw each other on Fridays. Sometimes, however, things would come up, and we'd have to skip that Friday and wait until the next Friday before we got to see each other. So, yes, the first 8 months of our relationship, we saw each other weekly (even when we were first dating), sometimes every other week. And you know, it wasn't that bad. We both had separate lives, and were both so busy, it didn't really bother us being long distance. We knew we had eternity to spend together ahead of us, so we enjoyed the time as it was.  Besides, there was no temptation whatsoever. We couldn't screw up since we didn't spend enough time together. Finally, Sarah and I went apartment hunting, and we found a small one bedroom in Southwest Bakersfield. I took it, quickly, so he'd have a place. He moved into the place a couple of weeks later. Since he was closer now, and our wedding was a couple of months away, we'd only meet up and see each other if we had a friend to accompany us. Yes, we had rules. But it was important for each of us to be sealed in the temple. And it wasn't that hard.

Finally, in December of 2006, we were sealed in the Los Angeles temple. The first year and a half of our marriage, we joke we were roommates. I had 2 jobs, Gary had 2 jobs AND was a full-time student. We hardly saw each other. Then, in May of 2008, he was offered a job in Valencia. And in June of 2008, he graduated; and we moved here. We spent the first year living in Canyon Country, and now we're living in Valencia, less than a mile from his job.

Our 3 year wedding anniversary is coming up, and I can say we're both so happy! I'm not going to be one of those people who claims an argument has never happened, because of course it has. But an argument does not mean fighting or shouting. We've never done that, we've hardly raised our voices to one another. Sure we've had disagreements and have gotten on each others' nerves, but no more than that. We both work hard and both see great results because of it. We've learned to live with one another, and we've learned how we're each different. And we're happy because of it. The more I treat him with love and respect, the more I get it in return. Yes, being a very stubborn and selfish person, it definitely was not easy at first. But once you realize it's not about you, and strive to meet the needs of your spouse, you'd be surprised what happiness you receive in return. I love him so much! He's still a gentleman. He still opens my doors, including the car door. He still offers me his coat and warmth when needed. Even after a long day at work, he'll come home and give me a big hug and kiss. I love seeing him sneaking in chores to help me out and surprise me. Even though he can be stubborn himself and isn't afraid to speak his mind or stand up to strangers, I find that quality very attractive! I always told myself I'd marry a stubborn man who had a playful and affectionate side, and I did. I love how he'll go from a hardworking, brave, and opinionated man to a sweet, gentle, playful, and loving man. So perfect! :)

So, that was our story. Sorry if it was long and boring :) Don't worry, you'll get an even mushier one on our anniversary. We're taking a vacation in January to celebrate.

Quick: Medical Update. Test results came back normal...in fact, they looked better than last time. Woo hoo! And, I've lost 10 lbs already, in just a few weeks. Thanks, guys!