Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Time to Move On

Well, the doctor finally called, and told me my levels were all within normal range. She's mailing the results, so I'm anxious to see them. While this is great news, it's also extremely frustrating.

If it's not my organs, if it's not my hormones, then what in the world is it? I can't even count how many tests I've had (at least 50). I'm overweight, but my cholesterol is normal, triglycerides are normal, glucose is normal (so no diabetes). The only the abnormal was the thyroid, my Hashimoto's. But I've been getting treated for that. In fact, my recent tests included my thyroid, which are still normal since medication. My blood pressure is normal, blood sugar is normal, ANA (no Lupus) test came back normal, CBC came back normal (Complete Blood Count)...EVERYTHING freaking came back normal. Normally a woman at my weight would have at least SOMETHING wrong with them. But me? Nope. I'm healthy. Very healthy.

Gary just mentioned, however, it could be tied to psychological issues. I'm so convinced there's something wrong, my body acts like there's something wrong. I'm so convinced my body is sick, it acts sick. Does that make sense? I'm starting to believe he's right. But how do I fix this? Seriously, any ideas? Could it be possible my own mind is causing my infertility? What about my weight? I make everything from home. I hardly eat out, I avoid fast food, soda, coffee, tea, alcohol, and I eat pretty healthy. Could it really be it's all in my mind?

It looks like it's time to move on. Fertility treatment, adoption, etc. Guess it's time to go over our finances.

Anyway, that's the update.

3 comments:

Carla said...

It really is good that you're healthy, Emilee! It means that at some point when kids come into your home, you'll have the physical ability and energy to be an awesome mommy.

Gary's conclusion is very definitely possible and not uncommon. I have no solutions or advice to give about how to remedy it though, other than just keep yourself busy... Maybe adoption will be a good option? Only you and Gary can decide your course of action. Just know that if you ever need anything, I am here. And I will continually keep you in my prayers.

Megan said...

that is a serious bummer to still not know what is going on with your body. but it's also really good news that according to the tests your body is really healthy!! I guess at this point you do just have to press on and have faith in yourself and in Heavenly Father blessing you with the family you want in whichever means He decides. maybe it is just a matter of mind over matter. who knows. i will definitely keep thinking and praying for you and hope you'll continue to be led to know what you should do.

And thank you for your sweet words and encouragement on my rant post... it was really sweet. It's nice to know we have each other's backs and can help lift each other up. :) Lots of love! Let me know if you need anything!

carrin said...

I truly believe your weight gain had a lot to do with your thyroid, now that you are being treated it just takes time. I agree with Carla, keep busy, and you don't know how many stories I hear of people adopting and then getting pregnant, heard another one yesterday when I went visiting teaching, but only you and Gary and Heavenly Father can decide what is best for the two of you. I love you!

Growing Up

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