Here's the update about what's going on.
First of all, I know my blog is public. I figure the only people who read it anyway are close friends and family...who already know the struggle Gary and I have been going through concerning infertility. People who are not close who often read my blog probably know anyway as well. This is our family blog, so I do my best to talk about other things. I took down my other blog because I simply didn't want to update everything in that field. So every now and then, I'll post appointment updates and other things. So I apologize if for any reason this bothers you.
I made the appointment with the specialist. However, considering we don't have anybody within our medical group in that specific field, the only available person is outside the medical group. I called, put in an appointment, and just when I was about to hang up, the receptionist says, "Okay, you're 20%, so it will be a $130 copay." I said okay before I really processed it, then hung up. All I could do as this point was take a deep breath and go over it in my head. Discouraged, I sent Gary a text message.
$130 just to see the guy. Chances are, he wouldn't be able to do much until a new cycle begins (it's been 4 months), send me home with possibly an expensive pill that would get me going, then bring me back in every few days throughout my cycle to run tests. If it's just $130 to see the guy, I can't even imagine the cost of the tests. In the end, it would be at least $1000 just to get me tested; not to mention the following treatment. We just can't do it. We're not getting much back from our tax return (since we've moved up in the tax bracket overtime), and we really don't want to take out a loan. I'm sure they have payment options, but it's just too overwhelming. Much too overwhelming. All I could do at this point was cry. And pray. And cry some more. Then pray some more...you get the picture. I began looking for jobs; if we can save up a good chunk, we could possibly go back in the near future. I don't want to put Gary through that financial stress; and he doesn't want to see me through the emotional stress (although it's a bit too late for that).
I haven't canceled the appointment, because I guess some part of me hopes some miraculous thing will work out. What I need to do is pick up that phone, call the office back, and ask some questions about pricing, just to be completely certain that canceling would be smart at this point. A part of me is hopeful that I just misunderstood the lady. Paperwork, she said, should be here soon...today or tomorrow with the details. I want to see that before I cancel. I just need to be sure.
While in the midst of my tears, and after saying serious prayers, I remembered something...a small article in a womens magazine that I came across the other day. I grabbed the magazine, and flipped through the pages. And I came across this: "Exercise to curb excess estrogen: Research suggests working out for three to five hours a week halves your risk of breast cancer by reducing tumor-promoting estrogen in the bloodstream." Now, it wasn't the breast cancer part that caught my attention, it was the exercise part. As some of you know, one of the most successful ways I've gotten my body to ovulate is strenuous exercise around that time. If for any reason I slack off or skip on exercise, my body refuses to ovulate. I could never find answers as to why that happened until I saw this article, and light bulb flicked on. I thought to myself, "Could it be possible I ovulate after serious exercise because I have too much estrogen to begin with? And the workouts lower it, making me normal?"
With all these thoughts and ideas in my head, I used Google to guide me through the rest of my research. When I searched and read several articles and facts about Estrogen Dominance, it felt...like I was receiving answers. Like I was being lead to read these things. The symptoms matched, and things just made sense. All I could think was "No wonder I'm always a mess emotionally. This would make sense."
And then another thing caught my attention. Dr. Lee, who has written several books on estrogen and womens health, had a lot of information on a health site. Here's what I saw...different chunks.
"Thyroid function and its relationship with estrogen and progesterone: Excess estrogen may have had a hand at triggering antibodies on the thyroid gland, which cause common thyroid diseases such as Hashimoto's thyroiditis, an autoimmune inflammatory process of the thyroid gland. Estrogen causes food calories to be stored as fat while thyroid hormones causes fat calories to be turned into usable energy. Thyroid hormone and estrogen therefore have opposing actions. Progesterone, on the other hand, increases the sensitivity of estrogen receptors for estrogen and at the proper levels, inhibits estrogen's negative side effect. Estrogen opposes progesterone. In my experience, when women with Hashimoto thyroiditis are given progesterone for things like osteoporosis, there results a gradual diminution of the severity of the disease and sometimes a complete resolution of the thyroiditis problem."
So, it could be possible, I have too much estrogen, which has actually caused my Hashimoto's. Another proof was when I was having my annual with my doctor; she made a comment about, well, my breasts, about them being fibrocystic...which happens when a women has too much estrogen. I'm super sorry if that was way TMI. Good thing you can't tell they're that way by physical appearance. ANYway...
Here's the plan. My ultrasound ruled out any physical problems; like endometriosis, cysts, blocked tubes, etc. In fact, I was told they're in great condition. This leaves hormones, and of course, the man's side of problems. I found online, hormone test kits, that even Target sells, that are proven reliable to test hormones by using saliva. Things like estridol, progesterone, testosterone, etc. Many people who don't want to pay hundreds to have those run by a doctor have claimed great things about these at home. I know a doctor is always better, don't get me wrong; but I'm willing if it means saving a butt load of money. I also did a bit more research, and found progesterone cream I'm going to be using...that I started using.
So, yes, we're going down a more "natural" route, and while doing so, we're going to save up money until we can afford this specialist. My diet is going to have to change, too. I believe Heavenly Father lead me to read these things; Gary agrees he thinks it's the problem as well...and Gary's never sure. Hopefully this is the trick and we won't have to see a specialist later. I'm hoping within the next few months there will be an improvement. Besides, honestly, I don't want to get pregnant at this weight. I'd rather not gain more weight during pregnancy and get diabetes or something. No thank you. Plus, since I don't have any life threatening illnesses or problems physically, there's no rush to see a doctor...especially one this expensive. There are many success stories of women who have gone down this natural path; let's hope we're one of them.
In the meantime, we're asking for prayers. I would really appreciate us in your prayers during this. It would mean a lot to us.
Anyway, that's the update.
PS- Just so you know: this doesn't mean I'm going to stay away from doctors. If for any reason I'm getting sick or get in pain, I'll always go see my GP or GYN. I still believe in doctors, so don't think I've lost interest and want to be "all natural." Not the case.
PSS- Yes, I am bummed that after all this time I finally get the guts to make an appointment with a specialist, only to turn it down later. Yes, there are thoughts flying through my head that make me worry and think, like, "It would just be faster to see a specialist", or "He could find the problem and you could stop all these other things yourself", etc. This is the hardest part.
Thanks for reading all of this if you have!
First of all, I know my blog is public. I figure the only people who read it anyway are close friends and family...who already know the struggle Gary and I have been going through concerning infertility. People who are not close who often read my blog probably know anyway as well. This is our family blog, so I do my best to talk about other things. I took down my other blog because I simply didn't want to update everything in that field. So every now and then, I'll post appointment updates and other things. So I apologize if for any reason this bothers you.
I made the appointment with the specialist. However, considering we don't have anybody within our medical group in that specific field, the only available person is outside the medical group. I called, put in an appointment, and just when I was about to hang up, the receptionist says, "Okay, you're 20%, so it will be a $130 copay." I said okay before I really processed it, then hung up. All I could do as this point was take a deep breath and go over it in my head. Discouraged, I sent Gary a text message.
$130 just to see the guy. Chances are, he wouldn't be able to do much until a new cycle begins (it's been 4 months), send me home with possibly an expensive pill that would get me going, then bring me back in every few days throughout my cycle to run tests. If it's just $130 to see the guy, I can't even imagine the cost of the tests. In the end, it would be at least $1000 just to get me tested; not to mention the following treatment. We just can't do it. We're not getting much back from our tax return (since we've moved up in the tax bracket overtime), and we really don't want to take out a loan. I'm sure they have payment options, but it's just too overwhelming. Much too overwhelming. All I could do at this point was cry. And pray. And cry some more. Then pray some more...you get the picture. I began looking for jobs; if we can save up a good chunk, we could possibly go back in the near future. I don't want to put Gary through that financial stress; and he doesn't want to see me through the emotional stress (although it's a bit too late for that).
I haven't canceled the appointment, because I guess some part of me hopes some miraculous thing will work out. What I need to do is pick up that phone, call the office back, and ask some questions about pricing, just to be completely certain that canceling would be smart at this point. A part of me is hopeful that I just misunderstood the lady. Paperwork, she said, should be here soon...today or tomorrow with the details. I want to see that before I cancel. I just need to be sure.
While in the midst of my tears, and after saying serious prayers, I remembered something...a small article in a womens magazine that I came across the other day. I grabbed the magazine, and flipped through the pages. And I came across this: "Exercise to curb excess estrogen: Research suggests working out for three to five hours a week halves your risk of breast cancer by reducing tumor-promoting estrogen in the bloodstream." Now, it wasn't the breast cancer part that caught my attention, it was the exercise part. As some of you know, one of the most successful ways I've gotten my body to ovulate is strenuous exercise around that time. If for any reason I slack off or skip on exercise, my body refuses to ovulate. I could never find answers as to why that happened until I saw this article, and light bulb flicked on. I thought to myself, "Could it be possible I ovulate after serious exercise because I have too much estrogen to begin with? And the workouts lower it, making me normal?"
With all these thoughts and ideas in my head, I used Google to guide me through the rest of my research. When I searched and read several articles and facts about Estrogen Dominance, it felt...like I was receiving answers. Like I was being lead to read these things. The symptoms matched, and things just made sense. All I could think was "No wonder I'm always a mess emotionally. This would make sense."
And then another thing caught my attention. Dr. Lee, who has written several books on estrogen and womens health, had a lot of information on a health site. Here's what I saw...different chunks.
"Thyroid function and its relationship with estrogen and progesterone: Excess estrogen may have had a hand at triggering antibodies on the thyroid gland, which cause common thyroid diseases such as Hashimoto's thyroiditis, an autoimmune inflammatory process of the thyroid gland. Estrogen causes food calories to be stored as fat while thyroid hormones causes fat calories to be turned into usable energy. Thyroid hormone and estrogen therefore have opposing actions. Progesterone, on the other hand, increases the sensitivity of estrogen receptors for estrogen and at the proper levels, inhibits estrogen's negative side effect. Estrogen opposes progesterone. In my experience, when women with Hashimoto thyroiditis are given progesterone for things like osteoporosis, there results a gradual diminution of the severity of the disease and sometimes a complete resolution of the thyroiditis problem."
So, it could be possible, I have too much estrogen, which has actually caused my Hashimoto's. Another proof was when I was having my annual with my doctor; she made a comment about, well, my breasts, about them being fibrocystic...which happens when a women has too much estrogen. I'm super sorry if that was way TMI. Good thing you can't tell they're that way by physical appearance. ANYway...
Here's the plan. My ultrasound ruled out any physical problems; like endometriosis, cysts, blocked tubes, etc. In fact, I was told they're in great condition. This leaves hormones, and of course, the man's side of problems. I found online, hormone test kits, that even Target sells, that are proven reliable to test hormones by using saliva. Things like estridol, progesterone, testosterone, etc. Many people who don't want to pay hundreds to have those run by a doctor have claimed great things about these at home. I know a doctor is always better, don't get me wrong; but I'm willing if it means saving a butt load of money. I also did a bit more research, and found progesterone cream I'm going to be using...that I started using.
So, yes, we're going down a more "natural" route, and while doing so, we're going to save up money until we can afford this specialist. My diet is going to have to change, too. I believe Heavenly Father lead me to read these things; Gary agrees he thinks it's the problem as well...and Gary's never sure. Hopefully this is the trick and we won't have to see a specialist later. I'm hoping within the next few months there will be an improvement. Besides, honestly, I don't want to get pregnant at this weight. I'd rather not gain more weight during pregnancy and get diabetes or something. No thank you. Plus, since I don't have any life threatening illnesses or problems physically, there's no rush to see a doctor...especially one this expensive. There are many success stories of women who have gone down this natural path; let's hope we're one of them.
In the meantime, we're asking for prayers. I would really appreciate us in your prayers during this. It would mean a lot to us.
Anyway, that's the update.
PS- Just so you know: this doesn't mean I'm going to stay away from doctors. If for any reason I'm getting sick or get in pain, I'll always go see my GP or GYN. I still believe in doctors, so don't think I've lost interest and want to be "all natural." Not the case.
PSS- Yes, I am bummed that after all this time I finally get the guts to make an appointment with a specialist, only to turn it down later. Yes, there are thoughts flying through my head that make me worry and think, like, "It would just be faster to see a specialist", or "He could find the problem and you could stop all these other things yourself", etc. This is the hardest part.
Thanks for reading all of this if you have!
10 comments:
As much as I want to try to convince you to keep the appointment with the specialist and then discuss fees, only you and Gary know what's best. Through fasting, prayer, temple attendance, and quiet contemplation (stuff you're already doing), you'll receive inspiration and know what to do. Good luck!
Fingers are crossed and prayers are still being said. I hope it works out for you and soon.
I think it's awesome that you are working on trying it on your own. I wish you the best. I will definitely KEEP you in my prayers, you guys were already there. After we talked on our walk - you've been in them ever since. I know what you are going through (to an extent ... everyone is obviously different) and I know the tears and prayers that come with it.
We love you. Hang in there. :)
P.S. If you ever need an exercise buddy, feel free to give me a call! I'd love to work out with you. :)
Plus, I come with a cute little Jr. sized training buddy for free. :)
However, if you had made the appointment sooner, you wouldn't have read the article that lead you to your research, so you'd have paid a ton of money.
I think trying things naturally will be less stress (on your body and on your mind waiting for the results of each test plus the financial strain). But then, I'm the one that puts of dr appointments for as long as I can. :-)
If you feel peace with your decision, and it sounds like you do, you're on the right track. Good luck!
Thank you, everyone! You are all great! Thanks for your prayers and support.
Keep me posted, I love you very much!! We definitely need a Catalina vacation!!!
Agreed!! Definitely looking forward to Catalina this summer. Plus, Mom, if I DID see a doctor, we probably wouldn't be able to have Catalina money :) I'm just sayin'...
Oh, Emily! You are so courageous for posting about your struggle with infertility on here. I certainly learn from it as a woman who hasn't even started to try for a baby, so I'm sure there are others who have/are struggling with the same thing who can gain even more knowledge and comfort from your story. So thank you for posting about your struggles and personal moments. It sounds like Heavenly Father was definitely helping to comfort you and help you self-diagnose by guiding you to those web articles. People who say there's no God out there who loves His children need to read and study your story! I hope this will get you started in the right direction--it sounds pretty convincing to me, and you and Gary seem to have the Spirit confirming it to you too, which is even more important!
It's also good for you to post about these trials because then it lets all of us out here know what specifically we can help you with and pray for on your behalf! You most DEFINITELY can count on my prayers for you guys. :) Much love to you both!
Good luck with everything..and I hope it all works out for you guys!
Post a Comment