The Pollock Family: Growths and Changes

     As mentioned in the previous post, Gary has started his new job. So far he is loving it. He enjoys having his own office and co-workers he gets along with. The commute was a little hard at first, but after he found a carpool that leaves from our area straight down to his job, it has been much smoother.

      Gabe is 9 months old now and all over the place. Crawling, standing, and getting into everything he can. I really love this age, though it definitely keeps me on my feet. At his 9 month checkup, we discovered he is now in the 28th percentile for weight (18.7 lbs.), which is great considering he was off the charts completely at 4 months. He is only nursed twice each day now, and that's starting to fade as well. I thought I'd be more together about it all, but it's been harder than expected to end the nursing relationship. The guilt hits no matter what. But I know he is going to be just fine. As for his appetite, he is a good eater! He will eat anything given to him. Table food, baby food, snacks, etc.. He LOVES food. I don't remember Alex being this obsessed with food, ever. So, that has been awesome. As for his occupational therapy, he is doing so well, it's about time to fade and end services. Their goal is to get to a year old, and during that time, help transition him to a sippy cup. However, we were told he is now pretty typical and may not requalify for services after we stop since he basically has no more issues with his mouth. What's interesting, though, is my mom sent a picture of me as a baby, and I had the same thing going on with my tongue! It was just slightly larger than normal, but as I grew, it fit better in my mouth. I never had feeding issues, though, or long term problems except I had to have 4 braces when I was a child (which also could have been because I sucked my thumb until 4th grade). My grandmother on my mom's side had the same thing as a baby. So weird! But normal and nothing to worry about.

     Alex is doing well too. I can't believe he's going to be three soon. He still talks all the time and constantly wants us to repeat what he's saying. It can get exhausting, but I know it's his way of learning how to say things correctly, so we go with it. He's also getting a little more defiant and stubborn, but of course that's expected at this age. However, he is so much fun to play with. He's starting to get into imaginative play, and is also starting to play with his brother. They don't always get along, but he has his sweet big brother moments. I love seeing them both in his room, and Alex sharing his toys and trying to talk to him. He also loves being outside and going places, and especially is obsessed with one on one time with either me or Gary. We always try and each have our own time with him without Gabe in the way, just to give him that attention he needs. Often times I feel guilty at the end of the day and wonder if I was a good enough mom to him. If I paid enough attention. I always feel bad when he says things like, "mommy Alex time," or "no more phone, mommy," or, "bye, Baby Gabe." Breaks my heart. He's still my little first baby.

     As for me, I'm doing well for the most part. I really dislike this time of year, as I get seasonal depression in February. So, it's always a rough month for me, and it's been rough this year too. Once spring rolls around I usually do much better. I purchased a rower I now use to workout on so I don't overdo my joints with running. I'm also trying to eat better, as I really need to lose weight. I'm also still putting in about 20 hours each week of study for my school, and I feel like I can't brain in some of my courses, including math. I feel like since I've had Gabe, I just can't get anything to work upstairs. It's so frustrating at times. I've been working with an endocrinologist to help level out my hormones, especially my thyroid. I'm tired of feeling like my brain is broken and I'm fighting everyday just to get a clear thought. Thankfully I have a ton of support, including my educational mentors, and of course from Gary who is always willing to help me when I need it. I still have a lot of good in my life, and I need to focus on that. I also need to better focus on letting go of constant mom guilt and learn to take care of myself and my needs.

   Anyway, that's our personal updates. The weather has already been warming up, so I've been taking the boys to parks, and we still go to our regular playdates just to get out and socialize while enjoying the warmer temps.