4 Weeks Old!

   

Love those chubby legs!

 I love my little guy so much! He is just a cute little bundle of fun and joy. The fun part- he's doing real smiles now. THE BEST! He really is a good baby and I just want to squeeze and kiss him all day (I probably do this anyway). Anyway, he turned 4 weeks old yesterday. Four weeks! His "official" one month birthday is on Sunday, but close enough.

     First of all, he is growing very well. He still has a big appetite, but I've cut back on giving him big feedings after 3-4 hours and instead he eats about every 2 hours with smaller portions (the first method can cause gas/colic/other stomach issues). Breastfeeding has actually improved, but there have still been some struggles. The good news is he latches perfectly again. Sometimes it's all about positioning. Doing the "standard" positions gets him squirming, but I've been creative enough to find positions that work for him- and sometimes he'll drink until he's burped and not wanting anymore. I think it might be some gas- he squirms to let out some wind, and basically pulls me further than I'm comfortable, and when I try to re-position him, he cries and gets frustrated. Sometimes it's my let-down too. At times it's too fast and he pulls away coughing, and other times it's too slow and he get impatient. Still a work in progress, but it's going uphill. As for pumping, it's pretty much become impossible for me to do it as often as I used to (he's awake more often now), and I think it might be decreasing my supply- because when I do pump, it's barely a thing (half of what I used to). I don't know if this is because he's feeding from me more, or I'm simply getting low on supply because I'm not "draining" them out every time he feeds and I'm pumping less. Who knows. I wish I would have been educated about this whole feeding thing before he came along. I just assumed I'd have this abundant supply and could feed him tons. I never imagined this would be so challenging. 

     Anyway, speaking of him being awake more- goodness! I don't know if this is a phase of a 4-week old, but holy cow is he needy! It's impossible to get things done sometimes (he's finally asleep now as he's been awake since 7:30 this morning, so I'm squeezing this blog in before I get some other things done).  I do try and focus on doing more chores when Gary is home and playing with him. But that boy just wants to be held all the time and needs constant attention. The Ergobaby is a hit and miss. Sometimes he does fine in it, other times he'll cry because he wants to be held differently. I swear this boy is picky about positioning. But anyway, he is awake a lot during the day and as much as I love playing and being with him, if he stays up too long, he gets way super fussy in the evenings. One evening he was awake from 3pm to 10pm- and he was screaming out of sheer exhaustion, but would not go to sleep. Eventually I managed to get him to fall asleep on me long enough for me to transfer him to his bassinet. We're still learning here! But I'm not complaining- he's still my perfect little man. 

    Also, he is still an excellent night sleeper. After I feed and change him in the night, he conks right back out again. I probably get a good 5-6 hours of sleep each night. We're very big on unwinding him, massaging him with bedtime lotion, and getting him in the right environment and he is just out. Even when I manage to get him to sleep more during the day, he still sleeps great in the night. I hope he keeps this up, but we'll see! 

  One big thing he loves the most and soothes the heck out of him is skin-to-skin. Oh, my, I can't stress enough how important this is for the both of us! He just loves it and he is zoned out and happy or sleeping the entire time. This morning after feeding him, he fell right to sleep on me and we napped for an hour. Okay, I know sleeping with him on me is advised against, but it was so nice! We also took a bath together later and he just loved it and was so relaxed. I read this really interesting article about the importance of skin-to-skin contact and something called the Kangaroo Mother Care. It definitely got my attention and I can already see the benefits of it : Kangaroo Mother Care.

     Anyway, he is doing great. Mom's still doing the best, even if she has total fail moments. For example, his neurology appointment. He had a regular checkup with his neurologist, and he was great the whole time. Active, awake, and relaxed. After the appointment, we went right over to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription (we are switching him seizure medications after all). I dropped it off and was told it would be a 20 minute wait. Glancing around the pharmacy waiting area, I see a bunch of sick people and kids sitting there and coughing. So, we go outside where it's nice and warm. I walk him around for a bit, sit with him (he's in his stroller), and we hang out. His feeding time is approaching, so we go back to the pharmacy after time is up and pick it up. Suddenly he is wailing. I try and talk and soothe him while the clerk tells me the medicine is $75. Um, no, check again. She tells me he's not in the system. I tell her he is in the system and I'm not paying $75 (I really was trying to be polite, but with a crying baby...). Finally she gets a manager to override it, and they just hand me the medication and I leave. I'm wheeling him out to the car, thinking he's just hungry, but the crying gets louder and he's really starting to scream. Finally I get to the car, open the hood of his car seat, unbuckle him, and pull him out. He immediately goes quiet and calm- and I discover he is completely sweaty- and hot. Guilt hit me like no other- he was just melting in that seat. I had him in there WAY too long, even in the heat. Poor, poor guy. Trying not to cry, I carried him to the front seat where I turned on the car and had the air conditioner blast on him until he cooled off and fell asleep. Mother of the year right there!

   Okay, well, I should probably go rest/get a few things done while the monkey is sleeping.  

Getting better!

I can see things better! (Swing in motion)

Music Time!

He sure loves these times of the day!

EEG appointment. Slept the whole time!

Happy baby in the morning! 

Alex and Family Update

   

  Having a new baby in the house definitely brings a whole new world of challenges, joy, and other feelings I've never felt before (like constant worry and wondering if I'm a good enough mom). Luckily Alex has been on the healthy side and I have a super helpful and supportive husband. 


     Alex is now 3 weeks old. His weight today? 8.10 lbs. It's amazing we've had him home for almost 2 weeks now. What a blessing! So, a few things about our little monkey:

    He eats. A lot. This is both good, but challenging for me. You see, it took awhile for my milk to come in, as mentioned on the previous post. Him being in the hospital for a week didn't help. There were days I couldn't hold him because of tests that were being run and needles being in his head. I had to pump on the side- but even so, I was hardly producing much so the nurses had no choice but to supplement formula. He got used to bottles. Plus, they fed him whenever he was hungry, even if it was 4oz for his 6 lb. frame. Then, I went to his Great Starts appointment where the nurses were very pushy about me stopping formula all together and exclusively breastfeeding. They had him feed for about 40 minutes and I gave him about an ounce. An ounce does not fill up this boy. Still, they were being pushy about it. So, I tried for a day or two of exclusive breastfeeding. Not only was it exhausting, but he was simply too hungry and it involved a lot of tears from both ends (even in the middle of the night). I couldn't sleep. He used to be great at latching, but when he's really hungry, he's not interested and will wail until I give in and hand him a bottle of formula or pumped milk. Yes, my supply has gone up as I am pumping 6-8 times per day, but it's still not enough to satisfy him. I'm still encourage to put him on the breast every chance I get when he's hungry, but after 15 or so minutes of screaming tears from him because he won't latch anymore, I just cave in. 

     However, I have come to accept it's okay if he has formula on the side. He's still getting a good amount of my milk everyday, so who cares if he drinks formula on the side? I doubt this will harm him in any way. Plus, we still do skin to skin regularly so we can bond. As long as that boy is fed, I'm good. It took me so long to accept it (still can be a struggle some days), but I don't want to feel guilty about not being able to exclusively breastfeed. 

     Alex also loves music and dancing! He loves being on the couch with me while I play with his arms, legs, and feet along to the music. He is just so content and will want to do this for hours. He always loves having someone nearby to entertain him while he's awake. He'll follow my voice wherever I'm at and just light up and wiggle his little heart out. 

     He also loves walks. It's amazing how mellow he becomes the moment I set him in his car seat. He just calms down and eventually falls to sleep during our walks in the mornings (and sometimes afternoons and evenings- mommy needs some fresh air too!). 

     I'm also pretty sure Daddy is his favorite person ever. It's really cute- when Gary comes home, Alex is usually chilling or sleeping. The moment he sees his dad, his eyes get big and completely light up- then he's totally uninterested in sleeping and just wants to be held. Once Gary has him, he's completely content and just watches him. I know he's only a few weeks old and people say they can't connect to others at this age, but I'm pretty sure he's already made his dad his BFF.

With his favorite person ever

     Alex is also great at night! Okay, yes, people have warned me this will change once he's no longer a newborn. I believe it. But Alex really does do a great job at night. I give him a massage with night time baby lotion, and Gary and I both take our time getting him relaxed and ready to sleep (he's usually pretty active in the evenings). His pediatrician said because he's gaining a healthy amount of weight, I don't have to wake him every few hours to eat. So, I turned off my phone alarms and discovered he'll actually wake me when he's ready. It went from every few hours on the dot to now 4-5 hours, giving me a longer stretch to sleep. Once he's changed and fed, he goes back to sleep until early morning- that's when I typically play with him, turn on music, then eventually take him out for a walk until he's conked out again (I'm letting him sleep a little longer today since I'm doing this blog and still need to shower- but playtime will definitely happen when I'm done).

   He also does a great job with medication. It can be hard to not feed him a big serving around that time because I don't want him to spit any of it up. But I soothe him, let him sleep a little bit, then I'll feed him more later once it's settled. I can't wait until he's done with his meds though! So far they are doing the job as he has been seizure free. He had an appointment with his neurologist this morning who said he's doing great! He has an EEG scheduled on Monday just to see how things are going (EEGs are typically normal in benign seizure disorders). His neurologist also suggested a different type of seizure medication since phenobarbital has been around since the 1800's and the new stuff has fewer side effects. 

   Anyway, I'm sure there are a million other things I could say about this boy and how awesome and precious he is, but I must go. Let me just end by saying he is the most amazing little man and I am so in love with him. He's such a good, happy, and sweet baby. Love, love, love! I also have to give my husband credit- he is amazing too! He comes home, takes over baby duty so quickly, and encourages me to nap and relax ("I've got this dear- you should get some rest"). He really is the best!

Walks are the best!

His bunny from Gary's co-workers

Practicing tummy-time!

Arms not swaddled- happy baby

Apparently the ceiling was fascinating that morning.

During his "wiggles"

This cracked me up. Whoops! No worries, Daddy had him!

Alexander Samuel Pollock

Gary and I are happy to announce the arrival of our sweet little guy, Alexander Samuel Pollock.

Born: May 29th, 2014
Time: 4:25am
Stats: 6lbs 15.8oz, 19 inches long

Alex was about 6 days past his due date and we love how small and precious he is!

On Tuesday, May 27th, around the afternoon, I had my first minor contraction. It was just a baby one and I realized they came every 20-30 minutes. I texted Gary to give him a heads up, but told him not to rush. Later that evening, still mild and bearable, they grew closer together, about five minutes apart. Knowing they would probably send us home, we went to the hospital as instructed to get checked out. Sure enough, after some observation, I was told I was barely over a centimeter dilated and to go home. The contractions didn't stop, however, and continued overnight, becoming a little more painful and keeping me awake. 

The next morning, they were still bearable, but annoyingly more painful as they continued every 5-7 minutes. I had a regular prenatal appointment that morning, so Gary and I went together as he took the day off "just in case". Once again, I was told I had barely stretched to a 2. It was frustrating as the contractions would not stop and were gradually getting worse. So, Gary and I did everything we could that day- climbed stairs, did a lot of walking, squats and exercises, and even ate a "pregnancy pizza" as suggested by his sister. The contractions continued to worsen throughout the day, but I still avoided the hospital. Around 7pm, however, Gary noticed me crying after a few back-to-back contractions. I was unable to focus on anything else, so he took my hand and said, "we should go." So, off we went. My contractions were mostly in my back and hips, which is called "back labor", due to the baby's positioning. He was still where he needed to be, but he was facing the front instead of my spine (90% of the time the baby naturally flips around closer to delivery, which he did). They were awful and just as bad as you'd expect, if not worse. 

After monitoring me for a bit and checking me out, I was relieved to find out I was now at a 4 and good to be admitted (I was determined to stay at the hospital as the contractions were too painful, even if I had been a 2). Over the next half hour, I went to a 6. It was a process getting the epidural, but oh my, that was a relief! My water broke right after the receiving the meds.

My parents had arrived around 11:30pm and we waited. I was instructed to get as much rest as possible. At one point, the whole team of nurses and the doctor quickly came into the room and gave me a shot to stop the contractions. Apparently my contractions were way too close together- and because my water had broken, the cord was being squeezed with each contraction- meaning the baby's heart rate dropped with each contraction. Too close together= baby's heart rate too low for too long. At this time, the doctor went over the idea of a C-section if this continued to happen and said it would possibly be an option. They had to pump amniotic fluids back into me to give him more room to "swim around" and take pressure off of the cord. 

Another few hours had passed by and again they had to give me a shot to stop contractions as they were too close together- and I was still at a 6.

Around 4am, the doctor came back into the room and told me she wanted to discuss having a C-section after all since I wasn't progressing and the cord issue was still a concern. However, she said she wanted to give me one last check to see if I had dilated any more. As she was checking, she said aloud, "Oh, well, you're at a 10! Let's get ready to push!"

After 25 minutes of pushing, my son entered this world. What a blessing he is! It was also amazing to watch the process through a mirror. They flipped him, cleared out his mouth, and we heard those beautiful first cries. I couldn't stop smiling and even teared up. What a happy momma I was!

 We stayed in the hospital for a couple of days, then we were released to go home. The first couple of nights were definitely hard as the poor guy just cried his little heart out. I tried my best to soothe and feed him, but we couldn't figure out why he was just so fussy. Everyone told us it was a "newborn thing" and completely normal. However, on the second night home, he was having another inconsolable fit. Gary had a sudden inspiration to give him some of the sample formula we had- and he downed 2 bottles. My heart broke. He was just really hungry as I was not providing much milk for him (luckily this has improved over time with lots of work and help). This night did not get better, however.

I had been holding him and rocking him around 12:30am Sunday morning when suddenly he started gasping like he was having trouble breathing. I sat him up and tapped him a bit, to make sure this was really happening. It continued, so I called out for Gary and placed him on the bed to begin CPR. However, he started seizing at this point and his breath returned. My heart still in panic mode, I raced to the nursery where my mom was sleeping (thank goodness she was staying with us), and woke her out of a dead sleep by saying, "something's wrong with Alex!" She flew out of bed and turned on the lights- then assured me he was breathing just fine, just lethargic. I told her I believed he had a seizure. After telling me he was going to be okay, it then hit me I probably passed him the seizure disorder in my family (I had them, two of my siblings had them, my dad had them, and my niece had them). I knew there was a 50% chance of passing it to him, but for some reason we hadn't even thought about it. We were too busy enjoying his newborn-ness to even let it cross our minds.

We decided we would wait until morning for Urgent Care, unless more seizures happened. I still didn't feel comfortable, however, and refused to go back to sleep. Around 4am, I was feeding him, when he began spitting up- and again, the breathing stopped. This time he turned blue. Let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing more terrifying than watching your 3-day old baby turn blue. He had been wearing a breathing monitor (attached to his diaper to monitor the movement of his stomach), and the alarm sounded- meaning he had been without air for at least 15 seconds. I had been in the living room and called Gary to come out. This time Gary took him and held him and said he was fine- then mentioned Urgent Care again. I wasn't okay with this- Urgent Care didn't open until 9. It wasn't long until Gary finally witnessed another seizure (I was the only one to witness the first two). Once Gary saw his color turn blue, it was enough for him to jump up and say, "we're going to the emergency room."

Alex had two more seizures while there- once in the emergency room (which we were immediately let in for care), and once in the NICU with the doctor. We explained my family history of seizure disorders, and thankfully the doctor on duty had dealt with them before, as rare as it is. However, they had to rule everything else out, which meant he had to have several tests run over several days. This included the spinal tap to rule out meningitis. Unfortunately, it took 4 tries over the week since the doctors kept getting blood in the sample from nicking a capillary. Spinal taps, or lumbar punctures, are painful procedures. We were pretty upset they couldn't get it right. The poor guy did not have a good week. Neither did his parents, especially me, his mommy. We spent all day with him in the hospital, then Gary would force me home every night to get some sleep. Being away from my baby was one of the most difficult things I've ever dealt with. 

Daddy makes it better

No more needles in my head!

The doctors then decided they wanted to run the course of antibiotics, just in case it was meningitis. This meant they wanted him for another week. We weren't happy with this- Alex had no symptoms or signs of an infectious disease. He was eating very well, was alert and active through the day, and seemed super healthy. The day after we discovered they wanted him for another week, we had an appointment with his neurologist who said they were able to gather enough evidence he doesn't have an infectious disease, and they were confident he'd be fine if we stopped the course of antibiotics and brought him home. A part of me still wanted him there for that week, just to be on the safe side, but the other part definitely wanted him home. We prayed over the decision, then decided we would stop the medication and bring him home. They left him off of the antibiotics for almost 48 hours just to observe, and he was still fine and healthy. So, we were finally able to bring him home on Saturday. I have to say, however, the nurses were amazing and he was so well taken care of. I was able to learn a lot from them and they've been so helpful in handing over everything we need.

He's been great since! He sleeps well (probably due to the anti-seizure medication), and eats super duper well. He has a huge appetite. As for the seizures, he should typically grow out of them by 1-2 years, so he will continue to be on meds until he's weened off around that time. The meds keep him seizure-free.

He's a happy baby- especially after a full tummy. He's active at night, but still does great. We just love him so darn much! It is true I gave birth to my heart- it's overwhelming how much love I hold for him. I never thought it was possible to love so much! We are excited to have this new life with him.

Also- he does not like getting dressed/undressed, does not like bath time, does not like his arms being swaddled, and doesn't like poopy diapers being changed. He definitely likes to have an opinion about everything! On the other hand, he loves being held, loves skin to skin with mommy, loves to eat, loves car rides, loves making eye contact (to the best of his abilities), loves watching everything around him, and is just a happy, care-free baby. What a brave, perfect little guy!

We're going home!

Um, dad, I'm hungry! He's just so little! Seriously, naked babies are the best.