Prayers are Needed

  Here's the update about what's going on.

 First of all, I know my blog is public. I figure the only people who read it anyway are close friends and family...who already know the struggle Gary and I have been going through concerning infertility. People who are not close who often read my blog probably know anyway as well. This is our family blog, so I do my best to talk about other things. I took down my other blog because I simply didn't want to update everything in that field. So every now and then, I'll post appointment updates and other things. So I apologize if for any reason this bothers you.

 I made the appointment with the specialist. However, considering we don't have anybody within our medical group in that specific field, the only available person is outside the medical group. I called, put in an appointment, and just when I was about to hang up, the receptionist says, "Okay, you're 20%, so it will be a $130 copay." I said okay before I really processed it, then hung up. All I could do as this point was take a deep breath and go over it in my head. Discouraged, I sent Gary a text message.

 $130 just to see the guy. Chances are, he wouldn't be able to do much until a new cycle begins (it's been 4 months), send me home with possibly an expensive pill that would get me going, then bring me back in every few days throughout my cycle to run tests. If it's just $130 to see the guy, I can't even imagine the cost of the tests.  In the end, it would be at least $1000 just to get me tested; not to mention the following treatment. We just can't do it. We're not getting much back from our tax return (since we've moved up in the tax bracket overtime), and we really don't want to take out a loan. I'm sure they have payment options, but it's just too overwhelming.  Much too overwhelming. All I could do at this point was cry. And pray. And cry some more. Then pray some more...you get the picture.  I began looking for jobs; if we can save up a good chunk, we could possibly go back in the near future.  I don't want to put Gary through that financial stress; and he doesn't want to see me through the emotional stress (although it's a bit too late for that).

I haven't canceled the appointment, because I guess some part of me hopes some miraculous thing will work out.  What I need to do is pick up that phone, call the office back, and ask some questions about pricing, just to be completely certain that canceling would be smart at this point. A part of me is hopeful that I just misunderstood the lady. Paperwork, she said, should be here soon...today or tomorrow with the details. I want to see that before I cancel. I just need to be sure.

While in the midst of my tears, and after saying serious prayers, I remembered something...a small article in a womens magazine that I came across the other day. I grabbed the magazine, and flipped through the pages. And I came across this: "Exercise to curb excess estrogen: Research suggests working out for three to five hours a week halves your risk of breast cancer by reducing tumor-promoting estrogen in the bloodstream."  Now, it wasn't the breast cancer part that caught my attention, it was the exercise part. As some of you know, one of the most successful ways I've gotten my body to ovulate is strenuous exercise around that time. If for any reason I slack off or skip on exercise, my body refuses to ovulate.  I could never find answers as to why that happened until I saw this article, and light bulb flicked on. I thought to myself, "Could it be possible I ovulate after serious exercise because I have too much estrogen to begin with? And the workouts lower it, making me normal?"

With all these thoughts and ideas in my  head, I used Google to guide me through the rest of my research. When I searched and read several articles and facts about Estrogen Dominance, it felt...like I was receiving answers. Like I was being lead to read these things. The symptoms matched, and things just made sense. All I could think was "No wonder I'm always a mess emotionally. This would make sense."

And then another thing caught my attention. Dr. Lee, who has written several books on estrogen and womens health, had a lot of information on a health site. Here's what I saw...different chunks.

"Thyroid function and its relationship with estrogen and progesterone: Excess estrogen may have had a hand at triggering antibodies on the thyroid gland, which cause common thyroid diseases such as Hashimoto's thyroiditis, an autoimmune inflammatory process of the thyroid gland. Estrogen causes food calories to be stored as fat while thyroid hormones causes fat calories to be turned into usable energy. Thyroid hormone and estrogen therefore have opposing actions. Progesterone, on the other hand, increases the sensitivity of estrogen receptors for estrogen and at the proper levels, inhibits estrogen's negative side effect. Estrogen opposes progesterone. In my experience, when women with Hashimoto thyroiditis are given progesterone for things like osteoporosis, there results a gradual diminution of the severity of the disease and sometimes a complete resolution of the thyroiditis problem."

So, it could be possible, I have too much estrogen, which has actually caused my Hashimoto's. Another proof was when I was having my annual with my doctor; she made a comment about, well, my breasts, about them being fibrocystic...which happens when a women has too much estrogen. I'm super sorry if that was way TMI. Good thing you can't tell they're that way by physical appearance. ANYway...

Here's the plan. My ultrasound ruled out any physical problems; like endometriosis, cysts, blocked tubes, etc. In fact, I was told they're in great condition. This leaves hormones, and of course, the man's side of problems. I found online, hormone test kits, that even Target sells, that are proven reliable to test hormones by using saliva. Things like estridol, progesterone, testosterone, etc. Many people who don't want to pay hundreds to have those run by a doctor have claimed great things about these at home. I know a doctor is always better, don't get me wrong; but I'm willing if it means saving a butt load of money. I also did a bit more research, and found progesterone cream I'm going to be using...that I started using.

So, yes, we're going down a more "natural" route, and while doing so, we're going to save up money until we can afford this specialist. My diet is going to have to change, too. I believe Heavenly Father lead me to read these things; Gary agrees he thinks it's the problem as well...and Gary's never sure. Hopefully this is the trick and we won't have to see a specialist later. I'm hoping within the next few months there will be an improvement. Besides, honestly, I don't want to get pregnant at this weight. I'd rather not gain more weight during pregnancy and get diabetes or something. No thank you. Plus, since I don't have any life threatening illnesses or problems physically, there's no rush to see a doctor...especially one this expensive. There are many success stories of women who have gone down this natural path; let's hope we're one of them.

In the meantime, we're asking for prayers. I would really appreciate us in your prayers during this. It would mean a lot to us.

Anyway, that's the update.

PS- Just so you know: this doesn't mean I'm going to stay away from doctors. If for any reason I'm getting sick or get in pain, I'll always go see my GP or GYN. I still believe in doctors, so don't think I've lost interest and want to be "all natural." Not the case.

PSS- Yes, I am bummed that after all this time I finally get the guts to make an appointment with a specialist, only to turn it down later. Yes, there are thoughts flying through my head that make me worry and think, like, "It would just be faster to see a specialist", or "He could find the problem and you could stop all these other things yourself", etc. This is the hardest part.

Thanks for reading all of this if you have!

Little Updates

 Hello, blog world. So sorry to have been neglecting you.

 There's really not much to say nor update, but I thought I might as well post a blog anyway since it's been so dang long.

 1. I'm down 17 lbs! I've been dropping weight without even trying. I really keep procrastinating the exercise part (last real workout was the night before Thanksgiving). I'm proud nothing's come back; in fact I keep dropping. Now, if I actually blended in exercise, I would probably get better results! No more excuses, Emilee! Of course, one excuse I use is...

 2. My foot. It's not working properly. Not only did I fracture the Sesamoid bone (a round bone located under the ball of your foot where your big toe is), but I've been dealing with horrible Plantar Faciitis. It's gotten to the point where standing and walking on it causes nerve jolts and pain. Completely awesome. Eh, I'm sure it will heal eventually, I don't feel like going to a foot doctor. Lol. When it gets to the point where I literally can't walk, then I'll drag myself in to see a doctor. I mean, I can walk just fine. It's just if I'm standing too long or walking too much it starts to hate me. No excuse to not exercise, though; I can pull through.

3. Gary's raise. Wahoo! He got a raise 6 months ago, so another one is pretty sweet. He's doing incredible at his job. He has a great relationship with his boss, gets along with all his co-workers, and always designs his own ideas to make his and other people's jobs more productive. He's even had meetings with the big bosses to present his ideas; which always leaves them not only impressed with him, but they use his ideas! It's wonderful. He's an excellent programmer. I think what's even more wonderful is the fact he's being trained in so many areas of programming, he's getting the feeling they're preparing him for a bigger position. His boss even told other workers, "If you need something done, take it to Gary." Employees are constantly coming to him if they need top priority things done quickly. He's such a hard worker, and I'm very proud!

4. Good ol' doctors.  Here's the update with my appointment setting: We're waiting for about $300 worth of rebates to arrive in the mail within the next week or so. After these arrive, I'm going to go ahead and make my appointment to see my RE. He's a specialist in the Los Angeles area, and got top ratings for being one of the most successful doctors in that field. We're not sure how much we're going to have to pay out of pocket for things, so we want to be prepared. His name's Dr. Gary Hubert (he's all over Google). Hopefully this guy, with his knowledge and experience, can find the problem asap.  I have no doubts, though.

5. I'm sure there are other small things, but I can't remember anything, haha. Cats are doing fine; I switched their food to Science Diet (Adult Light formula), because I felt they weren't getting everything they need. I've also even been focusing a bit on their dental health. There's no vet visit planned for teeth, no need unless there's a serious issue, but I've been feeding them treats that clean their teeth, and yes, I even bought a little toothbrush and paste kit. This started when I noticed Dexter's upper canine accidentally punctured his lower lip. I kept an eye on it to make sure it didn't get infected (good thing my care at home caused it to not infect and go away). Lila's teeth aren't as well as they should be. She was a stray for the first 6 or so months of her life, so that made a difference. Dexter's are white and fine, but I still want to keep his mouth clean enough. So yes, cat health! These are my children for now, and I want them to live a long and healthy life. So there :P

 Oh, and the lovely rain. It's been raining for quite some time now; 3 days in a row now? It's wonderful. Okay, so for some people it's not wonderful, but it is for me. I love it! The sound, the smell, etc.

So, life is good! We were planning on having a trip over the weekend, for the 2 of us to get away; but we didn't plan anything. My car needed a new battery, so we bought one, and other things just popped us that kept us from planning our mini-vacation. But instead, we went back to Canoga Park and strolled around their mall on Saturday. But there's always time to have a mini-vacation. This time we'll actually plan one out :)

I suppose that's all for now. Bye!

Beautiful Day

  Wow, it's so perfect outside! I wish it could be like this all the time, with occasional rain. Cloudy, but not too cloudy with a bit of sunshine. Mid to high 60's, a cool breeze. Wonderful! Not to mention the air is so fresh, too. I think one of the biggest reasons why Fall is my favorite season, is because it's after the dreadfully hot days of Summer...it's always a nice change. And of course the colors. But now we've been in Winter since mid-December, and by far this is probably the best weather I've seen within a year. So, after a shower and everything this morning, I went for a stroll. Not, no exercise walking or I would've put off the shower. It was a nice stroll, and the weather's cool enough to wear a light jacket and not break a sweat. Okay, so I was out for close to a couple of hours, but most of the time was observing and enjoying instead of walking. And you could probably guess I strolled over to the lake. And yes, I was talking about the weather :P

 It's not as summery-green as it was earlier, but it's got a nice winter/autumn touch to it, and it's even more beautiful in my opinion. There were many people out today, walking their dogs, walking as families, bike riding. There were also a good chunk of children playing, too. Not to mention the friendliness of everyone as well. It was also probably one of the first times I actually saw the residents of the lake homes outside enjoying their Saturday; yard work, lounging; mostly yard work, though. But still, they smiled and waved and said hello as I strolled by. Nice people, lol.

 

 

 

 And then a couple more:

 

I know, I was across the street from our place,but the mountains look so blue and gorgeous, I just had to.

 Anyway, yesterday was quite the day as well. After I kissed Gary off to work, I went to work myself. Well, at home anyway. I did what you would call New Years cleaning as opposed to Spring cleaning. I spent quite some hours cleaning, organizing, and even did a small bit of rearranging. It wasn't real bad to begin with, but it was enough to keep me busy for awhile. Then, I had an even more exciting task (sarcastic). I decided that since I was done cleaning, it was time to vacuum the floor. Now, as most of you know, the vacuum I was using was terrible to me. I took the darn thing apart, covered myself in dust and other nasty crap (probably got some disease from it), and cleaned it out and unclogged it. This wasn't the first time I've done this. I felt disgusting. Finally, I went to vacuuming to realize it started immediately backing up again and not doing a great job. So, I got a screwdriver, took off the entire back, and realized it was an electrical problem. The main hose doesn't have any suction. The circuit boards looked fine, but there was another layer within the vacuum I could have opened, but I'm not an expert with wires, so I passed. I finally had to accept it was broken, due to electrical issues. Frustrated, I put it away, and finally got in the shower and rinsed all the dust and everything even out of my eyes, mouth, and nose.  When Gary came home, he completely surprised me and bought me a new vacuum! A Dyson! It's the DC25 Animal.

 Obviously, I was thrilled. I took it for a "spin", and was surprised at all the crap it picked up. Half the bin was filled with dust and dirt...probably added up over the 6 months we've been here, lol. You know, since the other vacuum hated me. Yes, this vacuum was very expensive, but it will last us awhile. It's coming out of our tax return, lol. It has a 5 year parts and labor warranty, so it will last that long at least; good investment. Although I had been thinking about getting something like this for awhile, I always put it off and never mentioned it to Gary. Guilt, I'd say. The other vacuum he bought me at Best Buy was about a year ago. It was an improvement from the last, and I loved it as well. It had nice features, but went downhill rapidly. Gary knew I had issues with it, but I felt too guilty to complain, so I dealt with it. I promised myself I'd do everything to see if I could fix it myself before mentioning a new one. So, that's why yesterday I took the whole thing apart...so I would know I did everything I could. Anyway, I made Gary a promise I would vacuum everyday, lol. But it feels so nice to have such a clean floor.

Well, I suppose that's all for now. Time to enjoy this beautiful Saturday. I've had the door to the deck opened all morning, and Dexter's in heaven. The wind chimes Gary put up sound relaxing, too :) Oh, and speaking of cats, they look so good! Lila's weight has gone done quite a bit, and she's "healthy" looking again. I've been giving them weekly baths, so their fur is super shiny and soft. It's important I have healthy cats. I've also been giving them dental treats, which have been good for their teeth health. And speaking of weight loss, I've dropped another couple of pounds...15 lbs down! And I wasn't really doing anything except eating healthier. Looks like I can lose weight without trying finally; but I'm going to add in serious exercise and watch the results from there.

Time to vacuum, then run off and do some shopping with the husband! Bye!

Calling

 Oh yeah, forgot to mention in my last blog, I was called to serve in the nursery. Our primary callings rotate every 6 months, so 6 months from now, I should be teaching a new class. But Megan and I were both called to serve, so it's just the 2 of us in Nursery now. There weren't too many kids, either, but I believe that's because they split them in half; junior and senior. But I could be wrong! All I know is I was told there are many many little children, but we wouldn't be getting them all...just half.

 They have such sweet little spirits and are too cute. I've served in Nursery and Primary before, for years, but for some reason it still made me a bit nervous. I've never been skilled with this specific age group. I have experience, yes, but I guess I'd have to be a mom first to really understand, or something. I've always liked the older kids. When I was doing my after school teaching, I enjoyed my 6th graders most. The 3rd graders drove me up the wall with all their tattletales and defiance....but that could also be because the schools I worked at were both lower income/troubled students. But for some reason, even with troubled kids, I always seemed to do better with the 6th graders, and even middle school age. I know, many people have said that grade is a nightmare to teach, but I've found some sort of understanding when working with them.

 Anyway, I did enjoy Nursery though. They are so small and sweet, and I even caught myself giggling at their little crunches during snack time. It was completely quiet except their pretzel crunching and chewing; and yes, I found that cute. So I definitely feel blessed to be a part of the program. I'm also glad I had about 6 months to be a part of Relief Society, so I was able to make friends and get to know the women. In the past, when placed in a new ward, I was instantly thrown into Primary, so it made it hard to make any friends. This time was different, and I'm glad.

 So, that's the news sista!

Happy New Year! Holiday Updates, Too

 Ah, a whole new year. While I did enjoy 2009, I'm definitely looking forward to 2010! So many plans and resolutions. It's amazing looking back on our lives and seeing the changes made just within a couple of years; up and leaving my hometown where I grew up for 22 years, and moving to a completely new city (2 for that matter, but they're right next to each other so it probably doesn't count), being a part of 2 wonderful wards, including the one we're in now, Gary getting raises and us moving to a safe and beautiful neighborhood, and even me being diagnosed with pretty much everything. Even then, it felt good to take a step in a good direction.

While I did lose 13lbs, it's been that way for a month. My last serious workout was Thanksgiving. And while I'm pleased to say I didn't gain anything back during the holidays, I need to get back on the ball! Now that the holidays are over and 2010 is here, it's time I step it up.

 The Christmas season was wonderful. Unfortunately I didn't really get any photos of the events, so sorry! But we did have a great time. On Christmas Eve morning, Gary and I went to Bakersfield to spend the day with my family. We opened up presents and had a delicious dinner. After dinner, we headed to Taft to visit Gary's family! The first night, we slept on a huge air mattress in the living room. We both didn't sleep too well, mostly because it wasn't our own bed. But that's okay! The Mertz' came over that morning, where the kids opened up more gifts. KaRyn, the mom, is Gary's oldest sister. So those kids I'm talking about are his nephews and niece. We then headed over to the Taylors (another sister of his and her children), all of us, and had a yummy breakfast. While there, we watched a movie and hung out, then around 2pm, we headed back over to Gary's parents house where we enjoyed our Christmas feast! The food was super delicious!

 Some of us were even caught napping in the living room with the cute dogs :) . KaRyn and her family brought over their very adorable dog as well. And she's blue! She's a Blue Merle, from the Cocker Spaniel breed. Very beautiful dog! And very nice nap, haha. The other dog is Gary's parents, Molly, who is a sort of terrier mix...like Katrina, but bigger.

After this, we all gathered in the living room with blankets and pillows and watched Transformers 2. I didn't like the movie, but it was fun having us all together. The movie was much too long with way too much action. That, and it mostly focused on how nasty and desperate Megan Fox is.

That night, Gary's brother Jeff, and his wife Aimee, came over and brought their two adorable, rowdy boys, as well as their super beautiful baby daughter. Well, not so much a baby anymore! Last year she was, but she was sure using those legs this time around. Gary and I slept on the air mattress again, but in a different room, while Jeff and Aimee spent the night in the living room with more air mattresses. That next day, we spent hanging out and spending time with everyone, before we headed out that evening. While the time was great, it felt so wonderful to crash on the bed.

Of course, we came home to cookies...cookies on the floor, a bag torn open, and an extra, extra friendly little orange cat. I guess he thought he'd win by using his cuteness. Cookies on the living room floor, which led us to a trail of cookies down the hall, a little in the bathroom, and a bigger collection in the bedroom. We also noticed the top of Chloe's cage was shifted (our rat). Hmm....But, he did in fact win with cuteness, because we thought it was funny and adorable.

Gary's days off have been amazing! He was off yesterday, and had an early day the day before. He gets today off, of course, and doesn't go back to work until Monday. One of the best things about the holidays are the vacation days hubby gets.

Well, I suppose that's all for now! Another day with the husband! I woke up early this morning, took the tree and Christmas decorations down, did some cleaning and rearranging, and now we have a full dining room. I'm just awesome like that :)

Later!